She doesn't even go here!

This post may self-destruct.

I know that some people really like “this is why I’m single” posts.  (“Oh man, examining my cats’ whiskers to make sure they’re even under a magnifying glass?  This is why I’m single!  Peanut butter and Dorito sandwich for dinner?  This is why I’m single!”)  They’re everywhere.  As a joke, they’re fine.  And to an extent, they could be cute, in a Cathy-comic sort of way, I guess. 

But I hate them.  They irk me on a core level.  The person you should be dating is the one that is totally cool with you being OCD about your cats, or your bizarro sandwiches, or your obsession with the Real Housewives, or whatever.  To joke about it is fine, but to actually make an excuse of being single because you’re weird is a cop-out. 

Because guess what?  Everyone’s fucking weird!  That guy or girl you’re lusting after probably goes home at night and irons their underwear.  Or watches Labyrinth on a loop while they work out because David Bowie is their god.  Or picks all the clover-shaped marshmallows out of their Lucky Charms because they’re convinced they’re unlucky.  Or WHATEVER.  Even the most “out there” people I know have found someone that loves them for them, whether it’s friends, or a significant other, or in many cases, both.  That’s what we should be looking for in companions in our twenties.  Someone who checks out our freak flag, tilts his/her head, admires fondly, and then proudly raises their own freak flag to full mast.

When I was single, I spent a lot of time coming back into myself after a relationship where I hid a lot of my quirks.  Over a year, in fact.  Finally, the summer after I graduated college, I got to be really comfortable with me, and the fact that I love Harry Potter as is only socially acceptable for twelve-year-olds.  And the fact that if a carrot has touched my entree at dinner, I can’t eat it.  And the fact that I have to leave the room if there’s a disclaimer on before a movie or TV show.  (They terrify me.)  I didn’t particularly want someone to come in and disrupt all that me I’d found, so I found someone who liked it!  Bear with me here - it actually worked.  That’s why I’m so stubborn on this topic.

If you want to be single, that’s great.  (There are times when everyone, single married or otherwise, is a-okay with being single.)  And THAT is why someone should be single.  Not because they’re weird.  There’s someone out there for everyone, and that’s the God’s honest truth.  And you’re really, really awesome - all of you.  Don’t hide parts of yourself until you move in together, or you’ll end up like Cory and Topanga in that episode where he’s clipping his toenails all over her bed.

Although, if you want to save the “Team Edward” shirt until date 3, I don’t think anyone would blame you.